Most couples have disagreements from time to time, others argue frequently. Some couples avoid conflict at all costs. Being able to express views, concerns and frustrations openly can be an important aspect of a relationship, as Ester Perel explains in this interview – it’s not the argument itself that undermines a relationship it’s what happens next; does it trigger familiar negative patterns of interaction? Does it lead to one partner withdrawing whilst the other pursues? Does it escalate to include every aspect of unhappiness or struggle the couple are faced with?  Arguments, as Ester explains, can play an important role in enabling couples to connect and learn from each other; it’s whether and how these ‘ruptures’ are repaired that is important.  Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CnxqgVZJm4